I sometimes wonder why individuals would seek to lead one or more lives in addition to and mostly seperated from their primary social one. One sees it happen all around ourselves and all the time. It can also be seen illustrated on daily television shows and the mass media. Some are innocuous or pleasant while others seem surprising or even sinister in nature.
Different persons may want to lead multiple separate lives for any of a number of reasons. Some are based in egotism while others are a necessity for continued survival within a highly nosy and very unforgiving society. As they say, one person’s heaven could be another person’s hell, and in the context of a society where the conventional values are agreed upon only by a general majority it is inevitable that some minorities will consequently feel the need to lead multiple lives.
It is actually much more penetrative than one might think. Basically if a person has a secret – any secret – then it is possible that that person may consciously or unconsciously be living a double life of sorts. This includes the classic examples – the individual who has an affair, the homosexual priest, the man who dresses like a woman by night – but it can also extend to less obvious examples. A woman could be a strong negotiator in the public sphere while grappling to come to terms with a terminal ailment behind closed doors. A jolly mild-mannered baker could be a serial killer with blood on his hands. An anointed war veteran could talk tough by day but cry in his sleep. A girl could be truly outgoing and yet curl up with a diary before bed. A factory worker could get lost in a private day dream.
The list goes on and on with the commonality centring around the fact that there are some things that individuals do not feel safe enough to trust with the public sphere. It is likely that the vast majority of those who form the general public, whether or not considering themselves mainstream, hold several aspects of themselves as far out of reach of everybody else as they can reasonably manage, and it is likely that they do so in fear of reprisals. I wouldn’t blame them or yourself for doing so. Many learn to do so from a tender young age when trial and error teaches them that children and adults alike are capable of making a person regret the words that they utter. While on this topic one could also point to this as a reason why so few people are outspoken in the world and why it is only a child who would dare to point and declare that the King wears no clothes within the famous fairytale. I guess it all comes down to keeping life simple and to this end the strategy seems to have served its purpose, in spite of the added difficulty in doing so upon an Island such as ours where everybody seems to know everybody and the vast majority of us are likely related to the 4th degree in some fashion or other.
I would like readers to pause and reflect upon their individual selves. Do you hold part of your life separate from another? Do you hold secrets that you feel are simpler kept than shared? It is fine to do so as many secrets are everyday matters. I hold secrets of my own and the chances are that so do you. Its ultimately a part of what makes ourselves social beings and moreover human.
Tags: face, mask, secret, society
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